can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
