I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize