based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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