i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
