i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
