How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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