do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
