You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
