I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
