Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he was CRYING into my vagina
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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