my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
