dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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