I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize