there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
