his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
