Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
