Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
