Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
