I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
