I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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