I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
