I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
