Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
