maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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