so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
