My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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