i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
