I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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