i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i dont even know how to be here
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
