Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
