Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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