2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
