i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
