he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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