Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
