Your dad touched me again.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
