Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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