okay pat passed out under dana's car
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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