Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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