yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
