i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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