these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
