I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
