I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
