What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
