It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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