Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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