Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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