I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize