I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
