That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
