I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
