TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
