he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm really busy with my period
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