I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
