so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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